When Cindy-May Dapaah was born, her mom, Mercy, had fled her partner and was living at Nellie’s. Now, almost 30 years later, Cindy-May is a member of our staff, working as a social worker to support our shelter residents.
Back in 1997, Mercy was new to Canada and she didn’t speak a lot of English, which her daughter explains was a significant barrier for her. But despite Mercy’s struggles, Cindy-May grew up hearing stories of two members of the Nellie’s team who left a lasting impression on her mom. “She told me that she just didn’t understand why they were so kind to her,” Cindy-May says. “My mom was pretty quiet, since she couldn’t speak much English, but [these women] would always see her and say, ‘oh come over, let’s chat, how are you?’” Even after Mercy found her own home and moved out of Nellie’s, the staff invited her back for a party to celebrate Cindy-May’s birth. “These experiences really meant so much to her, how they made her feel special even though she didn’t feel like she was deserving,” shares Cindy-May.
As Mercy’s pregnancy progressed, she decided that she wanted to honour these women by naming her daughter after them: Cindy Cowan, Nellie’s executive director, and shelter worker May (last name unknown). “In our Ghanaian culture, parents usually name their children after someone in their lives,” Cindy-May explains. “The idea is that you either want them to carry the same values or morals as this person, or it can be a sign of respect.”
Without a doubt, the legacy of Cindy and May lives on in Mercy’s daughter. From an early age, Cindy-May knew that she wanted to give back to her community. She was raised in Toronto’s Regent Park neighbourhood, a community she says is filled with people from so many different walks of life, but are brought together in knowing the value of community support. “I feel like there’s so many different people that poured into me, and that made me feel like I also want to pour back into others one day,” Cindy-May explains. She credits her high school’s social worker for encouraging her to pursue a career in social work, and to apply to universities instead of colleges. Cindy-May became the first person in her family to attend university, and this past summer she also completed her Masters of Social Work at York.
After completing her bachelor’s degree, Cindy-May began working in a few VAW shelters, before she spotted a job posting for Nellie’s — where she admits she hadn’t really considered working before. “I never thought about it too deeply, because this story is just a part of me,” says Cindy-May. “Even after sharing it with so many people, I’m still surprised by the reaction I get, because it’s just a part of my life. I didn’t really understand how vital or beautiful it was.”
Cindy-May has now been working at Nellie’s as a relief shelter worker since 2024, and says that her mom’s story reminds her to always make the time to check in on the residents. “Knowing that my mother was in this same position that these women are in right now, it helps me know and remind them that this isn’t the end,” Cindy-May explains. “It’s really important for me to always have good energy when I’m here. I want to make sure that they’re happy and doing okay, because I know that once they leave, they’re never going to forget this place. They’re never going to forget who treated them well.”
Unsurprisingly, Cindy-May’s mom Mercy is very proud of the work her daughter is doing to support the women at Nellie’s today. “Every time I go to work my mom says, ‘Oh, you’re going to the place where I gave birth to you!’”, says Cindy-May. “That’s how she refers to it every time. ‘The place where I gave birth to you.’”
Thank you Cindy-May and Mercy for sharing your beautiful story and photos with us.